When I first outlined this article, I planned to share my thoughts on International Women’s Day. And while I have plenty of opinions - particularly around how the day often focuses on “cupcakes and bubbles” and the lack of meaningful change - it’s not where my energy is right now.
Right now, my focus is on supporting myself, my family, and our farm as we navigate the ongoing stress of drought.
The drought gripping South Australia is widespread and severe, stretching into Victoria, Tasmania, and parts of Western Australia. Meanwhile, in stark contrast, the north of the country faces devastating floods.
The ongoing severity of climate events is taking a toll on our mental health, our wellbeing, and our relationships. Just because we expect these challenges doesn’t mean they don’t impact us deeply.
Recently, I shared a photo of one of our paddocks on social media—bare, dry, and lifeless. The response was overwhelmingly supportive, yet one comment called it “clickbait”. But when a stark image reflects the everyday reality of so many farmers, it’s not clickbait—it’s the truth.
That post got me thinking about what we can and can’t control. Every farmer knows we can’t control the rain. We can’t control the markets. But what does it mean to focus on what we can control?
"Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference."
The Circle of Control is a framework that helps us separate what is truly within our power from what isn’t. It consists of three concentric circles:
Circle of Control – The smallest circle, containing the things we can directly control: our choices, actions, and responses.
Circle of Influence – The middle circle, where we have some impact but not full control. This might include farm profitability, relationships, the wellbeing of those close to us.
Circle of Concern – The largest circle, representing everything we care about but have no control over, such as the weather, the economy, and other people’s actions or emotions.
The reality is, there are very few things we have full control over. Even our thoughts aren’t always under our control - many arise automatically from past experiences, cultural conditioning and stress.
What we do control is:
Our actions – How we choose to show up each day.
Our responses – Whether we let stress consume us or take steps to manage it.
Our mindset – The decisions we make about where to focus our energy.
Everything else - farm success, rainfall, commodity prices, other people - fall into the Circle of Influence or Circle of Concern. Acknowledging this can ease some of the burdens we carry, freeing us to focus on the small, moment-by-moment choices that are truly ours to make.
The Circle of Influence includes things we don’t have complete control over but can impact through our actions and decisions. In farming, this may include:
The profitability of our farm—while we can’t control market prices, we can make financial and business decisions that influence outcomes.
The wellbeing of our family—while we can’t control how others feel, we can support them, communicate openly, and create a positive environment.
The way our community responds to tough times—while we can’t force others to open up, we can lead by example, checking in on neighbours and reducing stigma around seeking support.
This is where many of us get stuck—pouring energy into things we can influence but not control and becoming frustrated when the results don’t go as we’d hoped.
It’s important to note however, that sometimes no matter what we do external circumstances trump all of our efforts within the circle of influence. Forcing us to shift those things into our circle of concern.
Things we deeply care about but have no ability to change include:
The weather.
The broader economy - global markets will shift regardless of what we do.
Other people’s actions, emotions, and opinions - we can offer support, but we can’t make someone change.
Spending too much time worrying about things in our Circle of Concern drains our energy and mental wellbeing. Learning to let go of these concerns doesn’t mean we don’t care—it means we’re choosing to focus our energy where it will have the most impact.
In a recent workshop, a participant said they placed the weather outside of all three circles - completely off the page. And that’s exactly the point. Sometimes, we need to consciously let go of what’s beyond us.
In tough seasons, understanding the Circle of Control is a powerful way to protect our mental wellbeing. It helps us direct our energy toward the things that matter, rather than spending valuable time, energy and headspace on what we wish we could change.
Because even when we don’t control the rain, the economy, or the challenges that come our way - how we show up still matters.
Steph Schmidt is a clinical psychologist, farmer, wife and mum of three young boys who is based on farm at Worlds End, South Australia. Sign up for her Little Rocks Reminders, weekly emails with tips to stay on track www.stephschmidt.com.au/littlerocks
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