The Box

Are you bogged mate? Meet the woman helping country blokes

Written by AuctionsPlus | Oct 9, 2021 9:00:00 PM

Somewhere in one of the most far-flung regions of remote Australia, a man celebrated Christmas with his family last year. Ordinary? Far from it. Just a few weeks earlier, buried beneath the weight of depression, the idea he’d still be around to see in the season seemed unfathomable. Then he met Mary O’Brien. 

Hailing from Dalby, Queensland, Mary is the founder of Mary O’Brien Rural Enterprises and more recently, the founder, director and CEO of men’s mental health initiative Are you bogged mate? 

Three years ago she attended the funerals of two men in the local area lost to suicide. Struck by feelings of devastation and frustration, Mary bashed out an opinion piece on country blokes and mental health. She hit publish to her business website and went to bed. What unfolded next surpassed any of Mary’s expectations. 

The piece went viral around the world, notifications blew up Mary’s phone and media requests rolled in. Fast forward to today and Mary’s both honoured and shocked to find herself as a national advocate for men’s mental health. 

“If someone had said to me years ago ‘you’re going to be working in men’s mental health’ I would have laughed because I have no qualifications in it but now I have clinical psychologists contacting me to ask my advice,” she says. 

While she may not have the certifications, Mary is no stranger to working alongside country blokes. Her dad’s one, her brother’s one, many of her closest mates are rural men and she has spent most of her career working in a primarily male-dominated environment. 

So when everything she read, heard and saw from the experts blamed rural men’s high suicide rates on isolation and an inability to express themselves, Mary called it out. 

“There ‘s nothing wrong with rural blokes; these experts just don’t understand how to communicate with them,” she says. 

Today, Mary travels around the country talking to country men, making it her mission to get to the most remote regions that other mental health organisations wouldn’t have heard of, let alone visit. She’s a welcome sight at many a country pub and shed as she makes her way down endless dirt roads in her old 2012 Hilux. 

And while she hopes to continue helping as many rural blokes as possible, Mary wants to keep her boots on the ground. There’s no fancy office, no huge team and not many dollars coming in. That’s not what it’s about for Mary. 

“I spoke at a remote community last year, basically just a rodeo ground where there’s not even any power, just generators. About a week later I got a text at 11pm from a bloke out there who was really struggling and we texted back and forth till 1.30am,” she says. 

“I’m not a crisis support worker but I will never turn these men away.”

The pair stayed in touch and after a few weeks, the interactions became less frequent. Eventually Mary checked in with him again on Christmas Eve. He told her those first few texts are the reason he’s here today to open presents with his kids, tuck into a roast lunch and have memories captured in family photos. 

“Just being able to keep someone here with their family for Christmas is enough for me. That’s pretty awesome,” Mary says. 

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Are you bogged mate? www.areyouboggedmate.com.au

Twitter - @RUboggedmate

Facebook – @areyouboggedmate 

Instagram – @areyouboggedmate 

 Ange Stirling Photography

Need help getting out of the mud? There’s people out there that can give you a tow. 

Lifeline: 13 11 14

Rural Aid 1300: 327 624 

Virtual Psychologist: 0488 807 266

MensLine Australia: 1300 789 978

Suicide Call Back Service: 1300 659 467

Beyond Blue: 1300 224 636

 

Article Image Photography by Ange Stirling Photography